Flying solo


My favorite part of my morning meditations is that when I start, it’s still completely dark and when I’m done twenty minutes later, dawn has arrived and my living room already has some light in it. A perfect start to a new day!

After just a week of meditating, I’m already in a routine and I really like my calm moments. Last week, one night I was home really late and decided not to meditate, as it was already midnight and I just wanted to go to bed. Still, I kept thinking, while preparing for bed, that maybe I should still do it, since it’s so calming. This time bed won in the end, but still I’m surprised how easily meditation has become a part of the day.

I was surfing the TM CH blog site and found something I thought was perfect: “TM adds a moment in my mind to stop and think, rather than just react.” The actual article was at that point discussing saying no to one more slice of pizza, but I realized that I’d already had something I could relate that to. I’m not a patient driver and the Swiss style of not signalling before making a turn usually drives me nuts. Just a few days ago I was in the car and again someone decided to just take a turn right in front of me without signalling. Usually that causes some loud comments from me, but this time, just when I was opening my mouth to give the other driver a piece of my mind, for some reason I simply stopped and did not feel bothered to do it.

I do have to admit I’m struggling a bit with my meditation right now. It’s not the practice in itself but probably more how I do it. I’m following Guenael’s advice, trying to effortlessly transcend but the reality is that my brain is so active, morning and night, and it’s starting to annoy me. My mind is scattered all over the place, it’s like confetti on the street on a carnival day! I try to collect myself, to bring myself back to my meditation, but just a few seconds later I’m already into the next thought.

I can hear Guenael’s voice in my head right now saying that it’s a part of the process and such thoughts come up during meditation, it’s natural. I know, I know, but it feels like a railway station up there… During the training Guenael said that people sometimes abandon meditation because in today’s world everything is about instant gratification. If you can’t immediately see the results, you quit. I’m sure it’s like that with everything else as well, instant results, NOW, or we jump over to the next exciting new shiny thing.

I’m definitively not thinking of quitting but I think I miss my wingman a bit, and I am looking forward to our first follow up in a week.

Satu Kankaansyrjä

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